The Usual Existential Cynicism

The minor emotional confusion that characterizes my life continues. Right now nothing seems worthwhile, or even causally effective, even as I cannot shake off the sense of agency, control, or intention with which I am imbued. Thus everything I do or fail to do is experienced as a decision, and I cannot understand why I… Continue reading The Usual Existential Cynicism

Portland Evening, February 2012

Waiting for the drugs to take effect The type of music you hear in these places. Living in a hip city there are seventeen of these places within a ten-block radius. A female crooner, scratch-edged voice, drum-n-bass beat behind a soulful sad tune turning quickly to a lusty howl. A dark room candlelit with voices… Continue reading Portland Evening, February 2012

The Freedom of Uselessness

Thinking back on Maggie Nelson, The Argonauts and Chris Kraus, I Love Dick. They are both versions of Nelson's "autotheory," using theory as a tool of personal self-interrogation, using others’ reasoning as punctuation, explication, and nuance in one's own story. I want very much to fold this beautiful theoretically-infused form of self-representation into my writing. I see now how this is exactly… Continue reading The Freedom of Uselessness